My mom just went back to the land of warm weather the other day after having a nice long visit here with our family. Every time she leaves my boys get a little sad and anxious for her leaving and long for the time when she will be returning. All the talk of "Grandma and Grandpa" moving around the country gave me pause...as some may know my sweet Grandmother died in November of 2010. I think as my boys have been growing and birthdays pass for me I think have been preparing myself for the enevitable passing of Grandma and Grandpa. As I have gotten older they seem to age exponentially every time I visit. I think I was preparing myself for what the future would bring. Obviously, it is inevitable passing on of our bodies when we die, but the soul never dies. But I really didn't take that into account when preparing for their passing... the soul never dies. Sure, I cried...a lot for a day or two, but then, I began to remember...
I was the first grandchild for nearly 6 years. No one else but me. My mom's parents lived close and my mom was so young when I was born that I spent a lot of time growing up in my grandparents house. Don't get me wrong, I was home with my parents, but once I was old enough to fend for myself, I was there A LOT! I wanted to be there. It wasn't chaotic or angry there. I felt safe and at peace in the house my mom grew up in. My mom's youngest sister was just 6 years older than me and that was like having a big sister all to myself. Robyn was good to me. Not like a sister, but like an aunt...really, like a friend.
That house would bustle with energy all the time. Grama was busy from morning to night with everything. I have fond memories of shopping with her when she would still drive the Torino. We would go up and down each isle getting all the things she needed, looking at the prices, finding the right things. She had a long list and I would help her. I felt useful and needed when I was with her. She taught me so much about being in the kitchen. I would watch her cook or bake and I fell in love with the kitchen. It was the center of the Light family universe. Everything happened in the kitchen. Great Grandma Mac and Great Grandma Fern would play cards at the table in the kitchen, the food for gatherings would be there in the kitchen dining room, everyone wanted to be in the kitchen chatting. It was the biggest room in the house...or it felt like it. I can remember every little detail about the house to this day. They moved from there in 1980 to Pendleton Oregon, but that house in Normandy Park is etched in my brain. I can walk there in my mind. I dream of going back to that house all the time.
The yard was beautiful out back. Peaceful, green and lush with hydrangeas and ivy and a huge tree right in the center. My grandpa put up a swing in that tree for me. Oh my word how I loved to escape out into the back yard and be alone and safe. My own secret garden of sorts. There was a Mother's cottage out back connected to the garage that my great Grandma Fern lived in for a time before returning to Wyoming. The Gregory Heights swim pool was behind the house and I could hear the kids having fun in the pool all summer long...I wanted to be there having fun with them.
The garage was my grandpa's laboratory. He would spend hours out there working on cars and building stuff. I can still smell the motor oil and gas to this day. There was a small walkway from the back door of the house out into a gravel area where there might be a car or two, the dogs, Stinger and Fredrick and of course Poo. I would sit on the stoop out back with my grandpa and feed the dogs peanuts and crackers at happy hour.
You'd walk in the back door and the laundry was to the left a tiny bathroom to the right and a short hallway. At the hallway end was a room on the left, which I often slept in, and when you turn right, there was the kitchen. After happy hour with the dogs we would walk in and the smells of dinner would be filling the house. Wonderful smells...pot roast with carrots and potatoes, salad and bread, one of my personal favorites. When it was just a small crowd we would eat at the kitchen table. It sat under a large window that looked out to the street. I loved that house. I wish I could raise my family in that house. It was perfect for our family then and it would be now. I drive by it in my mind now a lot. With my grandpa still alive at 92, missing my grandma so, I think about all the years there a lot. I loved to sit on his lap while he was watching football. I think that is one of the reasons why I love sports so much. I loved that when I would come rushing in the front door and he was home in his chair he would gently grab me by my braids and pull me to him and tell me he loved me and sit me on his lap. He was a big man, a strong man almost larger than life to me sometimes. He was a hunter, a fisherman and an pilot for United Airlines. He flew in the Army during WWII and I still love to hear stories about his times during the war. He tells a great story. Never once was I afraid of him. I had and still have enormous amounts of respect for my grandparents. They always respected me, why should I not return that respect. They made it so easy.
I am a little afraid to see him now...I am afraid I would be too sad. Missing grandma I know had been hurting him a lot. I cannot even imagine how much it hurts to be the one left behind. Everyday must seem endless...I hurt for him in that. I wish they could still be together. I wish they could have gone to Heaven together. Gram is up there waiting for him...beautiful and elegant, healthy and full of life. No more crippled fingers from arthritis and no more cancers and walking troubles. I wish my grandpa peace and rest. He has lived such a long life, 92 beautiful full years. He has given SO much to everyone. Gram and grandpa gave whatever they could and then some...so generous and loving and kind. My mom and I have talked about this a lot. Why don't we feel so sad about Grandma going to heaven so quickly without being about to say goodbye first. Well, this is my answer to you mom...
Death is a reminder for those who are left behind of what was beautiful about a life well spent. While painful to say goodbye, Grandma and Grandpa's lives have been well spent...deeply invested in the importance of family. That is why we cannot cry too much about this. All those hours spent at the table playing cards, watching football games, shooting off Tennis ball cannons in the back yard, those times were the beauty of a life well spent. Both of there lives were well spent loving their family, caring for their neighbors and leaving lasting impressions on the future generations of our family. When Grandpa goes to heaven and meets Grandma at those Pearly Gates I pray God will bless me with a duck call. Weird I know...but as a girl, Grandpa would bring out his calls and blow them softly in my ear. I love that sound. To this day, whenever I hear a duck I think of him like it was yesterday... sitting on his lap with Grandma in the kitchen, smells of pot roast filling the house, and Lawrence Welk playing on the TV. Those moments and hours with family...that is a life well spent. The times I spent with them made me what I am today, I hope I make them proud.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Groundhog Day....again,,,Really?
Just when you think you have it all figured out and it is all moving smoothly...
Once again I am faced with the prospects of what brain damage does. My sweet 9 year old Raury has always struggled in school. He comes by it honestly. For those of you who don't know he was born in August of '01 and within 24 hours or so had a grade II inter ventricular brain hemorrhage. He basically had a bleed in the space between the two hemispheres in his brain. Please keep in mind that we were NEVER given a definitive reason for his trauma. It could have been a multitude of reasons, his low birth weight, his inter uterine growth restriction, my high blood pressure and gestational diabetes...the list can go on and on. We had plenty of intervention prior to his birth. He hardly moved in there. He was quiet as a mouse. He still is to this day. He had at least one seizure that we know of, could have been more, and then after much anticipation was treated for it, put on Phenobarbital for 6 months and we were told that he may have delays but no one knows for sure what to expect.
Well, once again we are faced with a challenge that I believe is directly related to that traumatic brain injury. There is no proof of this mind you, and many would argue that his birth injury is not the cause of these issues, but as a mom, I know different. That is what mom's do. We just know. So, needless to say we waited. We had him evaluated, tested and tested again...he went into early intervention/early childhood education. He bypassed preschool, he bypassed a lot of things his peers were doing. Fast forward to 2011...
Raury is in the 4th grade. In my opinion he shouldn't be classified as a 4th grader. He is too young and too far behind his peers to ever be able to catch up. Being born in August sucks for many reasons...it's cool being summer and all, but it sucks too. I should know, I was born in August. He beat the cut off. He is a VERY young 4th grader. In classification only. He does not do 4th grade level work. He has never done grade level work. Keep in mind that he works HARD at what he does, VERY HARD. He expects a lot of himself, but he is always chasing the elusive 4th grade achievement level. He has never had homework...NEVER! He has never had to read a book and write a book report, he has never had to do a spelling test, none of the things that typical class might do in 1-4th grade. He is in our school district special ed program. It is a wonderful program full of all sorts of kids with all sorts of needs, and sweet, shy unassuming Raury is the least of any teachers worries. These special ed teachers have so many different needs and learning styles in their classes I am not surprised that we are simply maintaining from one IEP to the next.
He has been in a self contained Academic learning center type situation within our school district. He had the same teacher from 1st-3rd grade. He loved her, we loved her. She retired this year. Enter new teacher...CRISIS...All of my sweet little man's fears reach the surface and he breaks down. Where he once loved school, now he HATES it. He doesn't like his teacher, she is too different and too loud. Mrs. B was a soft spoken, gentle spirit with the patience of a saint, the new teacher is too different. To shore up his anxiety we trot off to Occupational Therapy, implement Haberman brushing, Listening therapy and most recently the ever important VISION THERAPY with tons of positive reinforcement. It is all necessary...it got him back to school and gave him his smile back, for the most part. We put him on Zoloft for his immense anxiety. That has worked so far. Status quo...or so I thought...Enter Colleen...vision therapist and teacher...sometimes it takes an outsider to notice some things...
Raury doesn't know how to sound out words..."but he reads pretty well for a kid with his delays?" Oh, no I find out, he had excellent recall and a terrific memory. He sees the word and he remembers it. He can sort of sound out a word but not really. He can read, but not to his potential, where he could be reading. He doesn't really KNOW what he is reading because he isn't really reading, he is remembering words that happen to be on a page and he is putting them together to form sentences and paragraphs but he doesn't understand what he is reading. How horrible that must be for him. No context, no framework...it must be like being trapped with people all around you trying to explain the words and stories to you but they are not going into your brain and making sense. It is just a mass of letters, words and ideas but no basic foundation.
We are now going back to the beginning...thus groundhog day...We are starting from the beginning in reading. Phonics 101...soft vowel sounds. Back to the beginning...again...really? Okay, so here we go. He's game to work with me, I am ready to make it work...Oh yeah, I have 2 other boys who need me to help them too..STRESS... I NEED CHOCOLATE...
I need to clone myself, we need a tutor for these boys. We need a therapy gym in our garage...
I never thought in a million years when I was sitting there looking at that positive pregnancy test on December 21, 2000 that I would be here, right now, desperate to find answers, to find help, to find support...to find PEACE for my boys and myself. I struggle every minute with knowing how to deal with each issue, each struggle and each new emergent delay or deficit we find. I worry about where the money will come from when we implement a new therapy or require a new test. Like say...$4000.00 per child for a neuropsychology testing, for which insurance may or may not cover and we need 2 tests. I am faced with the hard decision of staying home for the boys, who need me here for many reasons, all the time, and working to pay for our ever increasing medical and occupational therapies. I need an advanced degree just to be their mom! It would be easy to turn this around on me, make it about me, but it isn't. It is about them, our sweet, loving boys, who deserve every right to meet their potential whatever that may be. The end isn't written yet, I know that, anything could happen, but if I don't expect anything, if I have no expectations of them or myself how can we ever expect to overcome the issues we face. The truth is we have to live with expectations. Now it is just figuring out what the right level of expectation for NOW, not years from now, but immediate, attainable expectations.
Raury isn't the only one of our boys that struggles...Gable has his own set of groundhog day moments. He had developmental struggles and learning issues and I am exausted thinking about those too. It is all too much tonight.
Cat, Rats, dishes in the sink, laundry to fold, shopping lists and schedules to make...it is a daunting task each and every second...the hardest job I have EVER done in my WHOLE LIFE...but at the end of the day, those average jobs never kissed me goodnight, never called me mommy and they never told me their secrets and fears. So yeah, the hard stuff hurts, the repeating themes wear me down and bum me out, but the kisses and hugs make it just a little easier to close my eyes at night so I can get up and do it all again...cuz I will do it all again at the same time every day for the same people and they are going to be there doing it all too. We are all together in this, all 5 of us...we are a family and that is all I ever wanted...Just a happy family! Sometimes I forget that even when it is right in front of me.
Once again I am faced with the prospects of what brain damage does. My sweet 9 year old Raury has always struggled in school. He comes by it honestly. For those of you who don't know he was born in August of '01 and within 24 hours or so had a grade II inter ventricular brain hemorrhage. He basically had a bleed in the space between the two hemispheres in his brain. Please keep in mind that we were NEVER given a definitive reason for his trauma. It could have been a multitude of reasons, his low birth weight, his inter uterine growth restriction, my high blood pressure and gestational diabetes...the list can go on and on. We had plenty of intervention prior to his birth. He hardly moved in there. He was quiet as a mouse. He still is to this day. He had at least one seizure that we know of, could have been more, and then after much anticipation was treated for it, put on Phenobarbital for 6 months and we were told that he may have delays but no one knows for sure what to expect.
Well, once again we are faced with a challenge that I believe is directly related to that traumatic brain injury. There is no proof of this mind you, and many would argue that his birth injury is not the cause of these issues, but as a mom, I know different. That is what mom's do. We just know. So, needless to say we waited. We had him evaluated, tested and tested again...he went into early intervention/early childhood education. He bypassed preschool, he bypassed a lot of things his peers were doing. Fast forward to 2011...
Raury is in the 4th grade. In my opinion he shouldn't be classified as a 4th grader. He is too young and too far behind his peers to ever be able to catch up. Being born in August sucks for many reasons...it's cool being summer and all, but it sucks too. I should know, I was born in August. He beat the cut off. He is a VERY young 4th grader. In classification only. He does not do 4th grade level work. He has never done grade level work. Keep in mind that he works HARD at what he does, VERY HARD. He expects a lot of himself, but he is always chasing the elusive 4th grade achievement level. He has never had homework...NEVER! He has never had to read a book and write a book report, he has never had to do a spelling test, none of the things that typical class might do in 1-4th grade. He is in our school district special ed program. It is a wonderful program full of all sorts of kids with all sorts of needs, and sweet, shy unassuming Raury is the least of any teachers worries. These special ed teachers have so many different needs and learning styles in their classes I am not surprised that we are simply maintaining from one IEP to the next.
He has been in a self contained Academic learning center type situation within our school district. He had the same teacher from 1st-3rd grade. He loved her, we loved her. She retired this year. Enter new teacher...CRISIS...All of my sweet little man's fears reach the surface and he breaks down. Where he once loved school, now he HATES it. He doesn't like his teacher, she is too different and too loud. Mrs. B was a soft spoken, gentle spirit with the patience of a saint, the new teacher is too different. To shore up his anxiety we trot off to Occupational Therapy, implement Haberman brushing, Listening therapy and most recently the ever important VISION THERAPY with tons of positive reinforcement. It is all necessary...it got him back to school and gave him his smile back, for the most part. We put him on Zoloft for his immense anxiety. That has worked so far. Status quo...or so I thought...Enter Colleen...vision therapist and teacher...sometimes it takes an outsider to notice some things...
Raury doesn't know how to sound out words..."but he reads pretty well for a kid with his delays?" Oh, no I find out, he had excellent recall and a terrific memory. He sees the word and he remembers it. He can sort of sound out a word but not really. He can read, but not to his potential, where he could be reading. He doesn't really KNOW what he is reading because he isn't really reading, he is remembering words that happen to be on a page and he is putting them together to form sentences and paragraphs but he doesn't understand what he is reading. How horrible that must be for him. No context, no framework...it must be like being trapped with people all around you trying to explain the words and stories to you but they are not going into your brain and making sense. It is just a mass of letters, words and ideas but no basic foundation.
We are now going back to the beginning...thus groundhog day...We are starting from the beginning in reading. Phonics 101...soft vowel sounds. Back to the beginning...again...really? Okay, so here we go. He's game to work with me, I am ready to make it work...Oh yeah, I have 2 other boys who need me to help them too..STRESS... I NEED CHOCOLATE...
I need to clone myself, we need a tutor for these boys. We need a therapy gym in our garage...
I never thought in a million years when I was sitting there looking at that positive pregnancy test on December 21, 2000 that I would be here, right now, desperate to find answers, to find help, to find support...to find PEACE for my boys and myself. I struggle every minute with knowing how to deal with each issue, each struggle and each new emergent delay or deficit we find. I worry about where the money will come from when we implement a new therapy or require a new test. Like say...$4000.00 per child for a neuropsychology testing, for which insurance may or may not cover and we need 2 tests. I am faced with the hard decision of staying home for the boys, who need me here for many reasons, all the time, and working to pay for our ever increasing medical and occupational therapies. I need an advanced degree just to be their mom! It would be easy to turn this around on me, make it about me, but it isn't. It is about them, our sweet, loving boys, who deserve every right to meet their potential whatever that may be. The end isn't written yet, I know that, anything could happen, but if I don't expect anything, if I have no expectations of them or myself how can we ever expect to overcome the issues we face. The truth is we have to live with expectations. Now it is just figuring out what the right level of expectation for NOW, not years from now, but immediate, attainable expectations.
Raury isn't the only one of our boys that struggles...Gable has his own set of groundhog day moments. He had developmental struggles and learning issues and I am exausted thinking about those too. It is all too much tonight.
Cat, Rats, dishes in the sink, laundry to fold, shopping lists and schedules to make...it is a daunting task each and every second...the hardest job I have EVER done in my WHOLE LIFE...but at the end of the day, those average jobs never kissed me goodnight, never called me mommy and they never told me their secrets and fears. So yeah, the hard stuff hurts, the repeating themes wear me down and bum me out, but the kisses and hugs make it just a little easier to close my eyes at night so I can get up and do it all again...cuz I will do it all again at the same time every day for the same people and they are going to be there doing it all too. We are all together in this, all 5 of us...we are a family and that is all I ever wanted...Just a happy family! Sometimes I forget that even when it is right in front of me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A new desire...a new direction...maybe?
So I was driving home from yet another potential therapy evaluation for Raury and I was once again reminded that I cannot do this alone. For every new therapy or treatment there are several more people added to out support team. Okay, a little back story. For those of you who don't know 2 of our boys have some special needs, and not unlike many families, we are learning how to deal as we go. For the past several years I think I have just been processing the whole notion of special needs. Now I have turned a corner. I very important corner. I think it has the potential to be the biggest, most daunting corner my life could ever take.
For the longest time I have been so caught up in the pain and loss of the term special needs kids that I haven't been able to look past it. At each appointment, evaluation or conference I felt like I was being reminded of the things I have done wrong in my life and how I have inflicted that upon my boys. How selfish of me. How idiotic of me to think that this is all about me. What have I been thinking? Not quite sure of it all yet, but I know I want to turn it into something positive.
That brings me to the NEW direction...
I am so tired of feeling like a failure and letting others actions feed into that. I am so ready to turn this "frown upside down". There has to be some way. The problem is, I haven't thought of it yet. I know I need to help provide financially for our family. My sweet, dear loving and stressed out husband needs me to help with making us float financially. The boys need a full time mom who can devote her life to the family. In this floundering country and downward cycling society there must be a way to turn my "mommy skills", the knowledge I have gained from dealing with kids like mine...kids with SPD and ADHD and turn it into a help for our society, help for our family and a emotional boost for myself.
I just turned away from this blog to reflect (and handle a Lego crisis) and I ran across a old friends note about her sweet little girl Abbie who passed into heaven just a few short months after she was born. Her birthday is coming up tomorrow and she would be 10...10...Oh my word...
There is no comparing each loss, each triumph, and struggle. There is no possible way to somehow make a math equation to make it fair or reasonable to understand. We just have to go with it. So in an effort to " go with it" I am praying, reading and searching for the answer for our family. I deeply want to find a way to be at home for our boys and support their schooling, their growth and well being. I desperately desire to share my struggles, triumphs and knowledge with other families that need support with raising healthy happy kids. I honestly do not know what that looks like. I don't have advanced degrees in medicine, psychology or Occupational therapy. I don't even have my bachelors degree. What I do have is a great capacity for learning, growing, and managing a family of boys. I have gained years of on the job training. I have learned many things about ADHD and Processing disorders. I am still learning. I want to turn that into something that could change the world...what that is I don't know. I just don't know. I do know that I want to do something and I am searching and seeking God's heart in that desire!
To be Continued....
For the longest time I have been so caught up in the pain and loss of the term special needs kids that I haven't been able to look past it. At each appointment, evaluation or conference I felt like I was being reminded of the things I have done wrong in my life and how I have inflicted that upon my boys. How selfish of me. How idiotic of me to think that this is all about me. What have I been thinking? Not quite sure of it all yet, but I know I want to turn it into something positive.
That brings me to the NEW direction...
I am so tired of feeling like a failure and letting others actions feed into that. I am so ready to turn this "frown upside down". There has to be some way. The problem is, I haven't thought of it yet. I know I need to help provide financially for our family. My sweet, dear loving and stressed out husband needs me to help with making us float financially. The boys need a full time mom who can devote her life to the family. In this floundering country and downward cycling society there must be a way to turn my "mommy skills", the knowledge I have gained from dealing with kids like mine...kids with SPD and ADHD and turn it into a help for our society, help for our family and a emotional boost for myself.
I just turned away from this blog to reflect (and handle a Lego crisis) and I ran across a old friends note about her sweet little girl Abbie who passed into heaven just a few short months after she was born. Her birthday is coming up tomorrow and she would be 10...10...Oh my word...
There is no comparing each loss, each triumph, and struggle. There is no possible way to somehow make a math equation to make it fair or reasonable to understand. We just have to go with it. So in an effort to " go with it" I am praying, reading and searching for the answer for our family. I deeply want to find a way to be at home for our boys and support their schooling, their growth and well being. I desperately desire to share my struggles, triumphs and knowledge with other families that need support with raising healthy happy kids. I honestly do not know what that looks like. I don't have advanced degrees in medicine, psychology or Occupational therapy. I don't even have my bachelors degree. What I do have is a great capacity for learning, growing, and managing a family of boys. I have gained years of on the job training. I have learned many things about ADHD and Processing disorders. I am still learning. I want to turn that into something that could change the world...what that is I don't know. I just don't know. I do know that I want to do something and I am searching and seeking God's heart in that desire!
To be Continued....
Thursday, August 26, 2010
So sorry everyone
I know that not too many read this blog but I have to tell you all sorry for not posting for sooooo long. It has been a busy summer for me and with all three boys home I find myself relishing the quiet in the evening and really not wanting to "talk" with anyone. Everyone is good here. I saw my endocronolgist last week and he had me do a REE test. Basically it tests my metabolism. They are able to tell how many calories my body burns without added excersise. I burn 1340 calories a day just being a blob...so I need to intake anywhere from about 950 to 11oo calories to loose weight quickly. I am really slowing down in the weigh loss so I am also taking L-Carnatine and Green Tea extract. All perscribed by Dr Raum. Still need to take in about 80 g of protein a day, that is getting hard. In summer I don't want to eat until I am cooled off in the evening. Makes for a bad combo. So anyway, that is the skinny on everything right now. I will post more later this weekend. Until then...TTFN!!!! Nighty night all!!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
A yummy treat for anyone
Okay all, I know it has been a very long time since my last post. I have been hard at work cleaning and creating. So, I wanted to quickly share my newest recipe that I came up with today. I love coffee, well, good coffee. I cannot stand bad tasting, watered down brown water that people pass off as coffee. So needless to say I don't go to that 'bucks place or anywhere else anymore, I save the money and make my own. That way I know what is going in and that makes it more WLS friendly.
Sooo, since I love coffee so much I have decided to try and make WLS friendly biscotti. I love ones that aren't too sweet and have yummy surprises inside. I have made Pistashio, Cranberry Almond, and today...drum roll please...my fav of all time so far, Mango Tango Almond Biscotti. Before you worry about me, I am sure to make these to be Sugar Free (accept for the fruits I add). So, ya wanna try the recipe...here it is...
Mango Tango Almond Biscotti
1/4 + 2 Tbls Egg Beaters
1 cup Splenda
1 tsp Almond Extract
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
3 Tbls Melted Butter
2 cups Almond Meal/Flour (I use Trader Joes)
3/4 cup all purpose unbleached flour
1 1/2 tsp Baking SODA
Couple pinches of Salt
1/2 cup slivered almonds
4-5 rehydrated Dried Mango Slices Chopped up finely (I use Trader Joes)
1/4 tsp fresh frozen grated Ginger( it's easier to microplane that way)
5 pieces of finely chopped Candied Ginger( once again I use Trader Joes)
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Line a pan with parchment paper and cut a second piece and put it on your cutting board. You will turn the biscotti dough out onto it once mixed.
Use a good mixer and whip up those egg beaters till they have a little air in them. Then add Splenda, Vanilla extract, Almond Extract, butter and mix until blended well. Now add the finely chopped up rehydrated mango slices. This adds a bit more moisture and some fiberous texture that holds them together very nicely.
In a separate bowl mix together lightly the almond flour/meal, flour, baking soda and salt. Blend it until it is well mixed. Slowly add the dry into the wet mixture until it is well combined. I add a little at a time to be sure. It will be a very sticky dough. Then quickly add the fresh frozen ginger and pulse one more time to combine. Turn out all the dough onto a large piece of parchment paper for needing.
Combine the chopped up candied ginger and almonds. Knead in 1/2 the mixture, using the parchment to cover the dough as you roll and fold it over a couple of times, repeat with the rest of the ginger and almonds. Try not to overwork the dough, it makes them tough. Divide the dough in half on the parchment, roll them into 2 logs (approx. 2 inches wide and 8-9 inches long) Use your judgement.
Transfer the logs onto the pan with the parchment on it. Don't skip this, otherwise they will come out too dark. Bake them for approx 35 min. They will be firm to the touch and a bit golden color.
Let them cool for a few minutes. You should be able to touch them easily ( I say about 10 min).
You need a serrated bread knife ( don't try another kind, you will be sorry), very carefully and slightly saw back and forth over the biscotti in about 1/2 inch intervals until though the cookie. Arrange them back onto the parchment covered pan and pop them back in the oven for approx 12-14 min., flip them over, and cook for another 5-7 minutes depending on the color you want them to be.
Let them cool completely and then put them in an air tight container. You won't be able to keep them around long. If you like a little sweet and spicy this is right up your alley.
They are approx 100 cal per cookie, 5 g carbs and 1 g protein
( all this depends on how much you like to add to the mix)
Gonna go eat one now! Caio all!!!
Sooo, since I love coffee so much I have decided to try and make WLS friendly biscotti. I love ones that aren't too sweet and have yummy surprises inside. I have made Pistashio, Cranberry Almond, and today...drum roll please...my fav of all time so far, Mango Tango Almond Biscotti. Before you worry about me, I am sure to make these to be Sugar Free (accept for the fruits I add). So, ya wanna try the recipe...here it is...
Mango Tango Almond Biscotti
1/4 + 2 Tbls Egg Beaters
1 cup Splenda
1 tsp Almond Extract
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
3 Tbls Melted Butter
2 cups Almond Meal/Flour (I use Trader Joes)
3/4 cup all purpose unbleached flour
1 1/2 tsp Baking SODA
Couple pinches of Salt
1/2 cup slivered almonds
4-5 rehydrated Dried Mango Slices Chopped up finely (I use Trader Joes)
1/4 tsp fresh frozen grated Ginger( it's easier to microplane that way)
5 pieces of finely chopped Candied Ginger( once again I use Trader Joes)
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Line a pan with parchment paper and cut a second piece and put it on your cutting board. You will turn the biscotti dough out onto it once mixed.
Use a good mixer and whip up those egg beaters till they have a little air in them. Then add Splenda, Vanilla extract, Almond Extract, butter and mix until blended well. Now add the finely chopped up rehydrated mango slices. This adds a bit more moisture and some fiberous texture that holds them together very nicely.
In a separate bowl mix together lightly the almond flour/meal, flour, baking soda and salt. Blend it until it is well mixed. Slowly add the dry into the wet mixture until it is well combined. I add a little at a time to be sure. It will be a very sticky dough. Then quickly add the fresh frozen ginger and pulse one more time to combine. Turn out all the dough onto a large piece of parchment paper for needing.
Combine the chopped up candied ginger and almonds. Knead in 1/2 the mixture, using the parchment to cover the dough as you roll and fold it over a couple of times, repeat with the rest of the ginger and almonds. Try not to overwork the dough, it makes them tough. Divide the dough in half on the parchment, roll them into 2 logs (approx. 2 inches wide and 8-9 inches long) Use your judgement.
Transfer the logs onto the pan with the parchment on it. Don't skip this, otherwise they will come out too dark. Bake them for approx 35 min. They will be firm to the touch and a bit golden color.
Let them cool for a few minutes. You should be able to touch them easily ( I say about 10 min).
You need a serrated bread knife ( don't try another kind, you will be sorry), very carefully and slightly saw back and forth over the biscotti in about 1/2 inch intervals until though the cookie. Arrange them back onto the parchment covered pan and pop them back in the oven for approx 12-14 min., flip them over, and cook for another 5-7 minutes depending on the color you want them to be.
Let them cool completely and then put them in an air tight container. You won't be able to keep them around long. If you like a little sweet and spicy this is right up your alley.
They are approx 100 cal per cookie, 5 g carbs and 1 g protein
( all this depends on how much you like to add to the mix)
Gonna go eat one now! Caio all!!!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I provide the Whine and you provide the Perspective
I had a great chat with a fellow RNY'er yesterday...it was liberating. This stall has been driving me insane. Janee was helpful, very helpful. I had a great day all around. I went to Portland to visit a dear friend who I haven't seen in MONTHS...Annie is great! Lots of vim and vitality, she has such a great love for life. That is why I love her so much. We walked around an old haunt, then off to the Bipartisan Cafe for a little lunch. Lunch...hummmm, it is always an issue for me...I am in a stall, I need protein, I don't like sandwiches or bread of any sort, this cafe has tons of....oh, quiche! TADA, Swiss, mushroom and roasted Garlic Quiche. Oh, that is heaven on a plate. Just a little pastry crust, really not much at all, and creamy cheesy goodness. Annie had a Prosciutto, cheese tomato, mustard croissant and a vanilla latte. It smelled devine.
Well, that inspired me to use my perspective and eat better. This morning I had my protein coffee (24 grams of Protein) as usual and then for a late breakfast I had a Mexican Delight...Huevos Rancheros...WLS style. Here is my recipe and pictures to follow:
Aelyese's Mexican Delight
1-2 Tbls Chile Lime No Fat Veggie Refried Beans
1 egg
1 Mission Carb Balance 8" tortilla
Salsa to taste (Pica de Gallo would also be good)
Colby Jack Cheese
1 4"x 2" ramekin
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place the ramekin on top of the tortilla and cut 2 rounds. Place 1/2 of the Beans on 1 of the tortilla rounds and smear it to the edges. Then a sprinkle of cheese on top of the beans. Crack the egg on top of the cheese then a splurch of salsa. * A splurch is a Maukism* Top the egg with the other bean smeared tortilla round. Brush a little bit of olive oil on the tortilla and top with remaining cheese. Pop the ramekin on a baking sheet and into the oven for 15-20 minutes (depending on how you like the egg done) less time for over easy egg and 20 for the hard cooked. When it is done, remove from the oven, top with a dab of Fage Greek Yogurt and ENJOY!
This is great for brunches, lunches, dinners, anytime. It is smooth, gooey and SOOOOO yummo! I always lick the ramekin CLEAN! It is just enough for a really great meal. Loaded with protein and packs a low carb punch. You have to try this today!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Stuck is the name of this game...
My body is revolting against me...a coup of the worst kind. I am officially in a stall, a big, enormous, amazingly frustrating weight loss stall. Pandora cannot help me with this one, it is now a battle of my WILL and my brain, and I feel like I am loosing today. I need to get out and work out my body and the Head hunger... whatever this is it is making me question my sanity. I crave Chocolate, salty foods, and let me tell you, Tilapia smothered in whatever sauce I make that day does not always cut it. Oh sure, it fills Pandora right up, but not that lonely, empty place that a food addict like myself fights to try and fill. Truthfully, sometimes I cheat...yes, I said it. A frosted animal cookie here, a french fry there, a cracker everywhere...it is like my food monster can sense the sugary salty goodness in my general vacinity and uses the "force" to have a light saber battle of wills. ( I am sorry for the Star Wars reference, but hey, I am Gary's wife and the mother of 3 manly boys) I have been loosing a lot lately. I cannot possibly do this on my own. When the stress level rises in this house I am a food maniac...I sabotage myself...I hate that about myself. My family doesn't help either. Now, before all you WLS people out there start scolding me let me first say that my boys eat well, but, they also deserve to be boys. Boys like Goldfish Crackers and Cheezits, Hershey kisses and frosted animal cookies. My boys eat really well...they NEVER over indulge and I think that has a lot to do with making it available if they want it. They don't have to beg to get it. With that being said, sometimes those things trigger me. My boys have to eat all the time. They are all growing and are in a particularly big growth spurt right now so they are constantly asking for something to eat. Apples, granola bars, fruit snacks, crackers...the list goes on. My boys have NEVER had white bread, sugary cereals, or other such nasty foods. They prefer Oatmeal, Apples and cheese, WLS crepes, and grilled chicken. But all those things, when in front of my face 24/7 can tempt me. Okay, enough on that subject, I need to eat!!!!
As I sit here eating my Progresso Light Italian Veggie soup I am reminded of the famous WLS phrase, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Well, whomever ALWAYS believes that has never eaten some of the dishes I love prepare. I am working on changing them to be WLS friendly, but dang it they taste really great.
Whomever said I was taking the easy way out...those people need their heads examined more than me. This is NO cake walk. I struggle just like everyone else, WLS or not. I know I can do this new life, I don't have a choice now, but I don't want to fail either. I could certainly fail at this, and on that note, I sign off saying, I don't want to fail and I believe in positive thinking soooo, I WILL NOT FAIL, I WILL NOT FAIL, I WILL NOT FAIL...Food is a annoying EVIL!!!!
My new phrase for this week:
Smell no Evil, See no Evil, Taste no EVIL!!!
As I sit here eating my Progresso Light Italian Veggie soup I am reminded of the famous WLS phrase, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Well, whomever ALWAYS believes that has never eaten some of the dishes I love prepare. I am working on changing them to be WLS friendly, but dang it they taste really great.
Whomever said I was taking the easy way out...those people need their heads examined more than me. This is NO cake walk. I struggle just like everyone else, WLS or not. I know I can do this new life, I don't have a choice now, but I don't want to fail either. I could certainly fail at this, and on that note, I sign off saying, I don't want to fail and I believe in positive thinking soooo, I WILL NOT FAIL, I WILL NOT FAIL, I WILL NOT FAIL...Food is a annoying EVIL!!!!
My new phrase for this week:
Smell no Evil, See no Evil, Taste no EVIL!!!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Feeling a little...Snarkey...
So, we had another busy weekend, and most of the action was self created, or inflicted, however you want to look at it. I find myself creating more work for myself as I get more healthy. An example, I decided it was time to go thought ALL my old clothes, get rid of the stuff that doesn't fit and rearrange everything that remains. Okay, so once that got started I saw all the mess...the deep down badness...I took down the curtains, the pictures the decor and cleaned it all. Washed the 4 quilts on our bed, the curtains...everything. That water bill will suck next month.
Well, that project took quite a few hours to complete, but our room looks amazing. The dust is gone, the fan is clean, the curtains sparkle and the bed has been made each day since it was cleaned. I have even managed to get the boys beds made each day.
This a big change to just 6 months ago when I could barely get up the motivation to run the vacuum. I love having a more clean and organized home. By no means is it all together, but it is better.
Now, to the TMI of this bloggy today...I am craving chocolate! All sorts of chocolate, all the time. WTH...Just when my PMS is gone for the month, it returns with a vengence 2 weeks after it is gone. I crave coffee, fat and chocolate. Not chocolate FLAVORED stuff, but the real deal. I can't control it. It is like a giant furry monster that eats me up from the inside out. Honestly, I bought some chocolate the other day. I have been slowly eating it each day, Damn it! I promised myself I wouldn't go back to that place, but here I am. Sometimes I think Pandora has left me...she is gone into the deep recesses of my mind and is fading fast, but it just isn't so. She is there, always will be and she is only has good of a tool as I utilize. I find myself reinventing ways to sabotage myself. Like allowing old tapes to play in my brain, letting my thoughts go back to blaming rather than taking responsibility for my behavior and actions. My inaction in the WL area the past few days ends NOW! I tossed the rest of the chocolate, I made a meal plan for the week and I WILL do my WAVE everyday this week, even if it kills me. I plan on blogging my meal plan this week...pictures and all. I need the accountability to myself and to anyone who reads.
The Plan for the week
Monday:
Breakfast~Protein Coffee w/ biscotti
Snack~a few almonds
Lunch~Ricotta Crepes
Snack~Hummus w/ baby bell pepper slices
Dinner~3 oz Tilapia packet, small spinach salad
Snack~Almond Custard (loaded with protein and NO SUGAR)
Pictures will be added later today!!!
TTFN All
Well, that project took quite a few hours to complete, but our room looks amazing. The dust is gone, the fan is clean, the curtains sparkle and the bed has been made each day since it was cleaned. I have even managed to get the boys beds made each day.
This a big change to just 6 months ago when I could barely get up the motivation to run the vacuum. I love having a more clean and organized home. By no means is it all together, but it is better.
Now, to the TMI of this bloggy today...I am craving chocolate! All sorts of chocolate, all the time. WTH...Just when my PMS is gone for the month, it returns with a vengence 2 weeks after it is gone. I crave coffee, fat and chocolate. Not chocolate FLAVORED stuff, but the real deal. I can't control it. It is like a giant furry monster that eats me up from the inside out. Honestly, I bought some chocolate the other day. I have been slowly eating it each day, Damn it! I promised myself I wouldn't go back to that place, but here I am. Sometimes I think Pandora has left me...she is gone into the deep recesses of my mind and is fading fast, but it just isn't so. She is there, always will be and she is only has good of a tool as I utilize. I find myself reinventing ways to sabotage myself. Like allowing old tapes to play in my brain, letting my thoughts go back to blaming rather than taking responsibility for my behavior and actions. My inaction in the WL area the past few days ends NOW! I tossed the rest of the chocolate, I made a meal plan for the week and I WILL do my WAVE everyday this week, even if it kills me. I plan on blogging my meal plan this week...pictures and all. I need the accountability to myself and to anyone who reads.
The Plan for the week
Monday:
Breakfast~Protein Coffee w/ biscotti
Snack~a few almonds
Lunch~Ricotta Crepes
Snack~Hummus w/ baby bell pepper slices
Dinner~3 oz Tilapia packet, small spinach salad
Snack~Almond Custard (loaded with protein and NO SUGAR)
Pictures will be added later today!!!
TTFN All
Monday, April 19, 2010
It's just a weekend...
Hi all... it was a busy weekend in the Mauk house. Bubbie was here and we were all over the countryside going to baseball games. I said last night at dinner that just when you think your weekend is getting started and you begin to relax, the new week comes turning the corner. I am realizing more and more how stressed I have been. My body is beginning to feel the "heat". All the walking, work outs, eating less (cuz I have to) and managing my household is really starting to make me feel like a 40 year old. Then today happened...
Yes, today I stepped on the Wii fit board and weighed in. The verdict....200lbs. OMG, finally, so close to my very first real weight goal. I feel so good I don't feel tempted to eat today. I am 60 lbs away from my ultimate goal. I would have the RNY every day if I had to. With victories like this I can get though the hard stuff too. Regardless of the hard times in my families life right now, this battle I am winning is being WON BY ME and only ME for myself. I had a fresh strawberry MAX protein shake for breakfast to celebrate. I have had some coffee...I will have a cheese quesadilla for lunch and 3-4 oz fish for dinner, snack, another protein drink and off to bed.I haven't felt this good in 15 years and I am 40!!!!! I can't wait to see what 41 brings!
Yes, today I stepped on the Wii fit board and weighed in. The verdict....200lbs. OMG, finally, so close to my very first real weight goal. I feel so good I don't feel tempted to eat today. I am 60 lbs away from my ultimate goal. I would have the RNY every day if I had to. With victories like this I can get though the hard stuff too. Regardless of the hard times in my families life right now, this battle I am winning is being WON BY ME and only ME for myself. I had a fresh strawberry MAX protein shake for breakfast to celebrate. I have had some coffee...I will have a cheese quesadilla for lunch and 3-4 oz fish for dinner, snack, another protein drink and off to bed.I haven't felt this good in 15 years and I am 40!!!!! I can't wait to see what 41 brings!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
It happening...
Well, dreams do really come true don't they? I am finally feeling like this whole thing is working. Up until now it has been a little surreal, but now, I am really starting to get in the groove. I weighed yesterday and I am now at 203...It is amazing how fast it is coming off now. This has really made a difference! It is fun to do and an excellent way to strength train and cardio all at once. I didn't want to spend all the money for the one on the marketing website so I searched Ebay and Amazon and found a good deal all for under $50. Whew hoo! The first time I tried it I loved it. The DVD's are easy to understand and easy to follow for me. Walking was just not doing it for me anymore and I have to be honest, my Wii fit, while fun gets hard to do when I have to compete with 3 other little boys who want to play Wii Snowball fight or some other fun balance game. It has been a great family toy, but I cannot lay claim to it being just mine anymore. We even got a streaming disk for the Wii though Netflix... so cool. I can watch so many movies now streaming though the Wii. I have been watching the first season of The Tudors. If you can stand the racy behavior(yikes), it is really very well done and absolutely entertaining to watch history, albeit embellished history, unfold once again. I must admit I have been having a hard time turning it off at night...well, 12:30am this morning.
Well, everyone who doesn't read this, have a great day!!!! Happy flower!
Well, everyone who doesn't read this, have a great day!!!! Happy flower!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Hovering...
Well, just a quick post to update some face shots and to say, I am just hovering at about 205lbs. What a difference 78lbs makes! Wowzers, don't ever want to go back to that again. Gotta look at those pictures every time I get discouraged...Okay, so Shrimp scampi dinner, here I come! Have a great weekend all!!!!
Oh, newest weight loss tool...The Wave...wanna know more, look it up! It ROCKS...HAAHAA!!!!! Post a comment, no one sends me messages...boo hoo!!!!
Oh, newest weight loss tool...The Wave...wanna know more, look it up! It ROCKS...HAAHAA!!!!! Post a comment, no one sends me messages...boo hoo!!!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
A rough day
Well, it is has been a rough food day for me. Not that I am able to pack in the food or anything, but my cravings have been getting the best of me the past few days. So, tonight I decided to have a good evening meal. I have really been struggling with lean meats, I have been much better with fish, shrimp and cheese. So, for dinner tonight I had this Cinnamon Blueberry Ricotta Crepes (recipe to follow). So Connor saw I was making "skinny pancakes" and wanted to try one. If you have had crepes you know they are eggy and oh so yummy! With a few tweeks I have turned mine into a WLS dream. So, figuring the boys would like cinnamon and sugar I warmed up some butter, added cinnamon and sugar all over the crepe and rolled it up for him to eat. He had to have 2. Then Raury came home and I offered him one, he initially said "No" but then changed his mind and DEVOURED it. What I love to see. If you have watched Jamie Oliver's new show you know he is trying to revolutionize the way our kids eat. Well, I have been trying to take that to heart. I am trying to get my boys to eat at least 2 good homemade meals a day. These crepes are a good start. They asked if they can have them for breakfast tomorrow. Music to a momma's ears. I think I am even changing Gary's mind about food. Just because I am not cooking like I used to doesn't mean I am not taking great care to eat really good stuff. We typically have Panko Parmesan Chicken fingers 1 night, and fish, scallops or shrimp the rest of the week. Friday is Pizza night for all the men in my life and I typically have something easy like a protein shake. My latest favorite is my Cinnamon Almond one. It tastes like those yummy Chinese Almond cookies from one of those buffets. Yumm!
Last night for dinner Gary and I had Fresh caught Columbia Salmon Fillets in a packet with Asparagas, Mushrooms, Corriander, Dry Vermouth and Orange slices. I just packed it all in a parchment paper packet and cooked it at 425 degrees for 12 minutes. Gary couldn't get enough and it was SOOOOO good for us. Packet cooking is a great thing for me. I can make a large portion for Gary and a reasonable size for my Pandora. She can't hold much these days.
Well, as promised my crepe recipe is to follow. I hope you all have a great rest of the week. Happy Easter everyone!!!!
Cinnamon Blueberry Ricotta Crepes
All purpose Crepe batter
1 cup 1% milk or Soy if you prefer
4 eggs beaten in a bowl
1/4 cup water
2 Tablespoons of SF Vanilla Syrup
4 Tablespoons of Canola Oil
1 cup of Flour( I use Spelt Flour...thus the baking soda. If you use reg flour omit the baking soda)
1 teaspoon of Baking Soda
1/8 teaspoon of Kosher Salt
Mix all the wet ingredients together, then slowly add dry with a wisk until smooth. You might want to use a hand mixer. Once blended smooth, cover and let it rest in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour, do not leave it overnight. Make them all up and leave them in the fridge for snacks and quick meals. This recipe makes a lot of crepes so you can half the recipe for less. I am cooking for 5. I typically use 1/3 cup of batter per crepe. I use my Non stick electric skillet, watch the crepe until it is no longer wet and then I flip it for a few seconds to get a nice yummy glow on it. They are a bit sweet, creamy from the eggs and they hold up very nicely to filling and yummy things. You could even omit the SF syrup for a savory crepe and add a creamy meat filling or use them like pasta for a lasagna. These are a multi use WLS food tool.
Filling:
1/3 cup Low Fat Ricotta Cheese
Handful of fresh blueberries
2 tsp. Splenda
Cinnamon to taste
Warm it up in the micro for 25 sec.
Add to cooked crepe, roll up in blintz like fashion and pop in the micro for a few seconds till warm and gooey.
Last night for dinner Gary and I had Fresh caught Columbia Salmon Fillets in a packet with Asparagas, Mushrooms, Corriander, Dry Vermouth and Orange slices. I just packed it all in a parchment paper packet and cooked it at 425 degrees for 12 minutes. Gary couldn't get enough and it was SOOOOO good for us. Packet cooking is a great thing for me. I can make a large portion for Gary and a reasonable size for my Pandora. She can't hold much these days.
Well, as promised my crepe recipe is to follow. I hope you all have a great rest of the week. Happy Easter everyone!!!!
Cinnamon Blueberry Ricotta Crepes
All purpose Crepe batter
1 cup 1% milk or Soy if you prefer
4 eggs beaten in a bowl
1/4 cup water
2 Tablespoons of SF Vanilla Syrup
4 Tablespoons of Canola Oil
1 cup of Flour( I use Spelt Flour...thus the baking soda. If you use reg flour omit the baking soda)
1 teaspoon of Baking Soda
1/8 teaspoon of Kosher Salt
Mix all the wet ingredients together, then slowly add dry with a wisk until smooth. You might want to use a hand mixer. Once blended smooth, cover and let it rest in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour, do not leave it overnight. Make them all up and leave them in the fridge for snacks and quick meals. This recipe makes a lot of crepes so you can half the recipe for less. I am cooking for 5. I typically use 1/3 cup of batter per crepe. I use my Non stick electric skillet, watch the crepe until it is no longer wet and then I flip it for a few seconds to get a nice yummy glow on it. They are a bit sweet, creamy from the eggs and they hold up very nicely to filling and yummy things. You could even omit the SF syrup for a savory crepe and add a creamy meat filling or use them like pasta for a lasagna. These are a multi use WLS food tool.
Filling:
1/3 cup Low Fat Ricotta Cheese
Handful of fresh blueberries
2 tsp. Splenda
Cinnamon to taste
Warm it up in the micro for 25 sec.
Add to cooked crepe, roll up in blintz like fashion and pop in the micro for a few seconds till warm and gooey.
Monday, March 29, 2010
A big WOW moment...
Okay, so quick post. Just wanted to comment that since I have been married (13 years and 3 beautiful boys) I have NEVER been able to wear my hubby's jeans. Well, just for the hey of it I tried on his 501's. THEY FIT...WELL!!!!! and I looked good in them. I could sit down and bend and stretch and everything. I wore them to the bus stop this morning I was so proud...
Now, I know they are 38's, but heck, I haven't done that size in FOREVER!!!!!! Now I can't wait to be in a much smaller size than him. I don't have to shop in the "big girl" sizes anymore. Just plain ol' wonderful sizes without a W after them. Yes, victory is within my grasp. Just feels like that is the way it should be, if you know what I mean. There is something sexy about being able to wear your hubby's jeans and t's and sweatshirts and look good in them. My Habs jersey is HUGE too!!! OMW, this is so working for me. I LOVE MY RNY!!!!!! It really is true that no food tastes as good as being my thin self feels. When I look in the mirror I am not afraid of what I see anymore. I am much more agreeable to having my picture taken and my kids love having me chase them around. I should have done this years ago....who knew!
Now, I know they are 38's, but heck, I haven't done that size in FOREVER!!!!!! Now I can't wait to be in a much smaller size than him. I don't have to shop in the "big girl" sizes anymore. Just plain ol' wonderful sizes without a W after them. Yes, victory is within my grasp. Just feels like that is the way it should be, if you know what I mean. There is something sexy about being able to wear your hubby's jeans and t's and sweatshirts and look good in them. My Habs jersey is HUGE too!!! OMW, this is so working for me. I LOVE MY RNY!!!!!! It really is true that no food tastes as good as being my thin self feels. When I look in the mirror I am not afraid of what I see anymore. I am much more agreeable to having my picture taken and my kids love having me chase them around. I should have done this years ago....who knew!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
In and Out...
Well, it's be a while since I posted last. I have been sick, in the hospital and generally under a lot of pressure. I have remained as cool as a cucumber, well sort of. I lost several pounds while recovering from a little bout of Pancreatitus. That wasn't fun, however, my Dr. the nursing staff and the hospital itself was as close to a spa as I am ever gonna get. Gary took care of the boys, got them off to school each day and made sure they were taken care of. He did absolutely fabulous. I slept, and slept and watched TV and offered my arm as a pin cushion offering to the IV gods.
I entered the hospital on Monday night, Dr. Kitahama admitted me. He is a sweet man who has an excellent bedside manner. I already had experience with him during my gallbladder surgery and was very happy with his help and care of me. So, I had an MRI Tuesday morning, was diagnosed with Pancreatitis that afternoon and immediately had a better picture of how all the rest of my treatment would follow. So, Tuesday morning my RNY surgeon dropped in, dropped the bomb that she would be out of town with her family for spring break, and said I would be in the hands of her very capable fellow, Dr. Smith. I had no idea who he was or anything about him, however, she assured me I was in good hands and left. I trust her with my life, literally! So, later that morning I met Dr. Smith. Now, let me preface this by saying that I wasn't feeling well and had drugs coursing though my veins, but, dang, he is so sweet and so handsome. I suppose that the New Zealand accent helps too. Blue eyes, very blue eyes and so soft spoken. He has a great manner as well. It is just not right for such a handsome Dr to be treating such vulnerable patients...LOL! I see how women get crushes on their Dr's. Seriously though, he was very wonderful and made me feel at ease regardless of whether I had narcotic goggles on or not. Needless to say, I got better enough that he felt he could release me.
I returned home on Friday afternoon. Wednesday night I was feeling a bit better and the pain in my side was beginning to resolve itself.
I am back to the grind of life. Boys all over the countryside and less than stellar sleep because the boys are interrupting it at all hours. But on the positive note, I lost 5lbs in about 4 days and I am now at just 206lbs. Yep, I am so close to ONELANDER. 6lbs and I will be under 200lbs. I am so excited. I am now shopping in the regular sizes and I can't tell you how liberating that is. Size 16 going on nice and easy has never felt so good. I will so be in those size 12 that hang on my chair. Skinny jeans here I come! 77lbs total since I began this journey...wow, never thought I would be here talking about it! I am so ready to be at goal.
Have a great one...
I entered the hospital on Monday night, Dr. Kitahama admitted me. He is a sweet man who has an excellent bedside manner. I already had experience with him during my gallbladder surgery and was very happy with his help and care of me. So, I had an MRI Tuesday morning, was diagnosed with Pancreatitis that afternoon and immediately had a better picture of how all the rest of my treatment would follow. So, Tuesday morning my RNY surgeon dropped in, dropped the bomb that she would be out of town with her family for spring break, and said I would be in the hands of her very capable fellow, Dr. Smith. I had no idea who he was or anything about him, however, she assured me I was in good hands and left. I trust her with my life, literally! So, later that morning I met Dr. Smith. Now, let me preface this by saying that I wasn't feeling well and had drugs coursing though my veins, but, dang, he is so sweet and so handsome. I suppose that the New Zealand accent helps too. Blue eyes, very blue eyes and so soft spoken. He has a great manner as well. It is just not right for such a handsome Dr to be treating such vulnerable patients...LOL! I see how women get crushes on their Dr's. Seriously though, he was very wonderful and made me feel at ease regardless of whether I had narcotic goggles on or not. Needless to say, I got better enough that he felt he could release me.
I returned home on Friday afternoon. Wednesday night I was feeling a bit better and the pain in my side was beginning to resolve itself.
I am back to the grind of life. Boys all over the countryside and less than stellar sleep because the boys are interrupting it at all hours. But on the positive note, I lost 5lbs in about 4 days and I am now at just 206lbs. Yep, I am so close to ONELANDER. 6lbs and I will be under 200lbs. I am so excited. I am now shopping in the regular sizes and I can't tell you how liberating that is. Size 16 going on nice and easy has never felt so good. I will so be in those size 12 that hang on my chair. Skinny jeans here I come! 77lbs total since I began this journey...wow, never thought I would be here talking about it! I am so ready to be at goal.
Have a great one...
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I am almost there...
Gosh, it is really happening fast. The weight loss this week. I am basically loosing a pound a day...at least this week. I am loving it. I went from 266lbs the day of surgery and I am now 215 lbs...215 lbs...215 lbs.I have to repeat it to believe it. I haven't felt this good physically in a long time. My boys can sit on my lap and not have a big ol' tummy in the way. I can bend over and tie my shoes, and cross my legs.
We took the boys to OMSI(Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) for a school outing and they had this cool space capsule. Well, Gary said I would get stuck, but I wanted to try so we both climbed in and Connor took a great photo. It was fun getting out, but so worth it. I wouldn't have even attempted it 6 months ago, now, more things are possible that ever before. I feel like a little kid again. I was passing though some old picture recently and found this one of me...oh my word, to be 18 again. The year, 1987, my junior year. Nice hair...well with that, I say to all, have a wonderfully healthy and happy day!
Peace all...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tacoless Fish Night...
Okay, so for some reason I felt like cooking yesterday. I haven't felt like that in a very long while since I really can't eat much. I guess too much of a temptation. However, the farther I get out from surgery, the easier it is getting. So...last night I made Tortilla Crusted Tilapia with Lime Cilantro Avocado Dressing, Garlic Parmesan No Carb "Noodles" and Caprese Style Salad. Wanna know what else, for lunch I made Turkey Veggie soup with left overs from Sunday night. I have food coming out my ears. I froze 2 quarts of soup, and have left overs from dinner for lunch today. So, wanna know how I did it...too bad, gonna tell you anyway. I really should take pictures, but it never looks as good as it tastes...
Tortilla Crusted Tilapia
4 frozen Tilapia fillets, thawed and patted dry
1/2 cup light Mayo
1/4 cup Quality Parm cheese
California Garlic Powder
Cheyenne Pepper to taste
Salt/Pepper
finely Crushed Baked Tostitos Tortilla Chips
Pre heat oven to 425 degrees.
Mix mayo, Parm cheese, and liberal amount of Garlic Powder along with salt, pepper and cheyenne pepper in a large bowl.
In Pyrex pan put finely Crushed Tortilla chips,a little parm and some garlic powder to taste.
Dredge dry tilapia in mayo mixture till lightly coated, then into the tortilla chips.
Place on a lightly oiled jelly roll pan. Place in oven for approx 10 min depending on thickness of fillet. Put on broil to brown the tops after they are cooked though. remove from pan immediately and serve with sauce on top.
Lime Cilantro Avocado Sauce
Juice of one lime
Handful of Fresh Cilantro Leaves
1/2 avocado, creamed
6 oz Non Fat Fage Greek Yogurt
4 or 5 toasted Peacans
Salt Pepper
Cheyenne Pepper to taste
Mix all together and store in Fridge till ready to use
Use as dressing or sauce for fish, chicken or other poultry.
Carb-less Noodles
1 Spagetti Squash
1 Tbls Butter
Liberal amount of California Garlic Powder
Quality Parmesan Cheese to taste
Salt and Pepper to taste
Split Large Spagetti Squash, clean out seeds and pith, roast at 375 degrees, cut side down for 45 minutes or until soft.
With fork, scrape contents out of skin. It will resemble noodles. While hot, add other ingredients to bowl and lightly mix. Add salt and pepper to taste or any other spices you like. I think they are better than any noodle I have eaten. Mild, a bit sweet and delish!!!!
Try it everyone...
For the kids
Parmesan Crusted Chicken Fingers
Frozen Chicken Fingers, thawed
Best Foods Mayo
Parmesan Cheese
Garlic Powder
Salt and Pepper to taste
Panko Bread Crumbs
Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees
Mix up Mayo, good parm cheese and garlic powder in a bowl
Mix Panko and more parm with salt, pepper and garlic powder on a large plate or pyrex.
Dredge chicken in mayo mixture first, until well coated. Then coat with Panko and shake off the excess. Place on a lightly oiled Jelly roll pan. Cook on 425 degrees until done, then turn up the oven to broil, brown the tops of the chicken fingers. Serve immediately.
These are a healthy alternative to fried chicken strips. My boys absolutely love them and would eat them every night if I would make them. They are also great as a left over on salad for the adults the next day!
Have fun with the kids. Have them help.
Have a healthy day everyone!!!
Tortilla Crusted Tilapia
4 frozen Tilapia fillets, thawed and patted dry
1/2 cup light Mayo
1/4 cup Quality Parm cheese
California Garlic Powder
Cheyenne Pepper to taste
Salt/Pepper
finely Crushed Baked Tostitos Tortilla Chips
Pre heat oven to 425 degrees.
Mix mayo, Parm cheese, and liberal amount of Garlic Powder along with salt, pepper and cheyenne pepper in a large bowl.
In Pyrex pan put finely Crushed Tortilla chips,a little parm and some garlic powder to taste.
Dredge dry tilapia in mayo mixture till lightly coated, then into the tortilla chips.
Place on a lightly oiled jelly roll pan. Place in oven for approx 10 min depending on thickness of fillet. Put on broil to brown the tops after they are cooked though. remove from pan immediately and serve with sauce on top.
Lime Cilantro Avocado Sauce
Juice of one lime
Handful of Fresh Cilantro Leaves
1/2 avocado, creamed
6 oz Non Fat Fage Greek Yogurt
4 or 5 toasted Peacans
Salt Pepper
Cheyenne Pepper to taste
Mix all together and store in Fridge till ready to use
Use as dressing or sauce for fish, chicken or other poultry.
Carb-less Noodles
1 Spagetti Squash
1 Tbls Butter
Liberal amount of California Garlic Powder
Quality Parmesan Cheese to taste
Salt and Pepper to taste
Split Large Spagetti Squash, clean out seeds and pith, roast at 375 degrees, cut side down for 45 minutes or until soft.
With fork, scrape contents out of skin. It will resemble noodles. While hot, add other ingredients to bowl and lightly mix. Add salt and pepper to taste or any other spices you like. I think they are better than any noodle I have eaten. Mild, a bit sweet and delish!!!!
Try it everyone...
For the kids
Parmesan Crusted Chicken Fingers
Frozen Chicken Fingers, thawed
Best Foods Mayo
Parmesan Cheese
Garlic Powder
Salt and Pepper to taste
Panko Bread Crumbs
Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees
Mix up Mayo, good parm cheese and garlic powder in a bowl
Mix Panko and more parm with salt, pepper and garlic powder on a large plate or pyrex.
Dredge chicken in mayo mixture first, until well coated. Then coat with Panko and shake off the excess. Place on a lightly oiled Jelly roll pan. Cook on 425 degrees until done, then turn up the oven to broil, brown the tops of the chicken fingers. Serve immediately.
These are a healthy alternative to fried chicken strips. My boys absolutely love them and would eat them every night if I would make them. They are also great as a left over on salad for the adults the next day!
Have fun with the kids. Have them help.
Have a healthy day everyone!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
To please Pandora...
I had the most yummy protein shake for breakfast. Oh my word...to die for.
Chocolate Covered Cherry Protein Shake
1 scoop Chocolate Max Protein (22 grams protein per scoop)
5 Frozen Dark Sweet Cherries
1 Tbls Sugar Free Black Cherry Torani Syrup
8 oz Soy Slender Vanilla Soy Milk
Put the Max in first...then all the other ingredients into the blender, wiz it up for a few seconds till the cherries are pulverized and there you have it. A chocolate covered cherry dream. It did not disappoint! Pandora is happy today. I didn't even think to take pictures of it before I drank it, but I will next time. My sweetie Connor even thought it was like a milkshake! Too bad I can't get all the kids to drink em'.
Have a fabulous skinny day everyone!!!
Chocolate Covered Cherry Protein Shake
1 scoop Chocolate Max Protein (22 grams protein per scoop)
5 Frozen Dark Sweet Cherries
1 Tbls Sugar Free Black Cherry Torani Syrup
8 oz Soy Slender Vanilla Soy Milk
Put the Max in first...then all the other ingredients into the blender, wiz it up for a few seconds till the cherries are pulverized and there you have it. A chocolate covered cherry dream. It did not disappoint! Pandora is happy today. I didn't even think to take pictures of it before I drank it, but I will next time. My sweetie Connor even thought it was like a milkshake! Too bad I can't get all the kids to drink em'.
Have a fabulous skinny day everyone!!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Just a little stress...
Okay, so I have been under what I would call a lot of extra stress for about 3 weeks now. For the past 2 weeks the needle on the scale has not moved...it will not budge, and to boot, I seem to be more hungry than ever, not just a little hungry and not "head" hungry, but grumbly in my tumbly kinda feelings. Not for bad stuff necessarily but ...yikes! I don't want to sabotage myself, over eat or anything but I am feelin way too much pressure. My life is very scheduled, and I don't have a lot of help or support for the little things like, dare I say, exercise. This might be TMI but it seems that every time I am near to my "friend" coming to town for a WEEK, I get Soooo damned hungry. I just can't seem to get myself to keep up with my responsibilities let alone taking care of my needs to "move it move it". I know "stalls" happen, whatever ya'll call them, but how do we keep ourselves motivated when life gets in the way! My hubby tries to be supportive, but he just isn't, at least not in the way I need. Okay, so is this a pitty party or a rant.
Okay, so my fav food stuff for the week:
Mozza Whips by Hennings Cheese (Wisconsin)
www.henningscheese.com
look for Mozza Whips in the Store. They also have Garlic string cheese...oh this stuff is AMAZING!!!!!
And my personal favorite:
Razzleberry 2 Minute Protein Cake with Sugar Free Boysenberry Preserves and Whip
Oh my word!!! My evening snack every day this week! If you love shortcakes or cakes in general, but don't want the calories or fat, email me for my personalized recipe!
Caio all!!!
Okay, so my fav food stuff for the week:
Mozza Whips by Hennings Cheese (Wisconsin)
www.henningscheese.com
look for Mozza Whips in the Store. They also have Garlic string cheese...oh this stuff is AMAZING!!!!!
And my personal favorite:
Razzleberry 2 Minute Protein Cake with Sugar Free Boysenberry Preserves and Whip
Oh my word!!! My evening snack every day this week! If you love shortcakes or cakes in general, but don't want the calories or fat, email me for my personalized recipe!
Caio all!!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ice Cream Diet
Hey, on the suggestion of Eggface, I have become hooked on Max Protein. This company has it right. It does not taste like any other! It is rich, creamy, a little sweet and perfect in anything or alone. Tonight I made the ultimate ice cream with the help of http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/. She has a great template for Protein Ice Cream and I have been using it faithfully since I found it. I bought the ice cream machine she suggested, pulled out my immersion blender, and went to work. I have found that I like Soy Milk Ice Cream better than low fat milk ice creams. I think it is creamer and richer. So anyway...here is what I did (please note that this is not my creation, Shelly of the above blog is the creator of this recipe. I just tailored it to fit my needs)
Chocolate Peppermint Protein Loaded Ice Cream
1 Cup Westsoy Chocolate Peppermint Stick Soy Milk
1 TBLS Sugar Free Chocolate Torani syrup
1 TBLS Sugar Free Vanilla Torani Syrup
2 Scoops Chocolate Max Protein Powder
(mix these together with an immersion blender to add bulk and air to the mixture)
I added it SLOWLY to my Ice Cream maker and let it go for about 20 min
Then I added 1/2 bar Chocolate Mint Zone Bar ( Connor didn't eat all his this morning and I hate to waste them. They are good and EXPENSIVE)
I added it at the VERY END, when it was basically done.
I scooped it out of the barrel and there was lots on the paddle and bowl. Oh how I miss licking beaters. What a rush of happy feelings to be able to enjoy ice cream and not feel like I had to run 5 miles to burn it off. It is actually good enough for me to eat for a meal...yes, a meal! A little Sugar Free whipped cream will make it a dessert after all are tucked in and I am alone with my thoughts, the cats and my DVR recordings I can't watch when the munchkins are up!
I have never tried a recipe from Eggface that didn't make me smile! Thanks Shelly!
Chocolate Peppermint Protein Loaded Ice Cream
1 Cup Westsoy Chocolate Peppermint Stick Soy Milk
1 TBLS Sugar Free Chocolate Torani syrup
1 TBLS Sugar Free Vanilla Torani Syrup
2 Scoops Chocolate Max Protein Powder
(mix these together with an immersion blender to add bulk and air to the mixture)
I added it SLOWLY to my Ice Cream maker and let it go for about 20 min
Then I added 1/2 bar Chocolate Mint Zone Bar ( Connor didn't eat all his this morning and I hate to waste them. They are good and EXPENSIVE)
I added it at the VERY END, when it was basically done.
I scooped it out of the barrel and there was lots on the paddle and bowl. Oh how I miss licking beaters. What a rush of happy feelings to be able to enjoy ice cream and not feel like I had to run 5 miles to burn it off. It is actually good enough for me to eat for a meal...yes, a meal! A little Sugar Free whipped cream will make it a dessert after all are tucked in and I am alone with my thoughts, the cats and my DVR recordings I can't watch when the munchkins are up!
I have never tried a recipe from Eggface that didn't make me smile! Thanks Shelly!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Okay Sorry...My bad...
So I think I have finally fixed the problem for leaving comments...now all you have to do is click on the comments link at the bottom and it will give you a pop up window that will allow you to leave a message. It should work now...sorry all who wanted to leave a comment...I am still learning this blogging stuff!!! LOL
Have a great Love day!
Have a great Love day!
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